Investment Opportunity
January 11th, 2008 | by Craig |Helena has had a ban on smoking in all public establishments for the past 4 (or so) years. This includes bars, casinos, restaurants, etc. Physicians here have claimed that within six months of the ban, heart disease plummeted. It’s good all around.
Well, unless you’re a smoker.
I had occasion to meet an old friend at one of Helena’s finer drinking establishments recently, and I noted that the law was not enforced as strictly by the proprietors as it might have been.
That’s when a moment of clarity struck, inspired by the environmental movement:
Secondhand Smoke Offsets
Pay me some money, and I will invest in cancer cures or air scrubbing technologies (minus some overhead), and you can light up whenever and wherever you like. If one of the holier-than-thou types — here I’m thinking of former smokers — accosts you, simply produce your second-hand smoke offset certificate and puff away.
I’ll have a tiered program for cigarettes, light cigarettes, menthols, cigars and snoose.
Whaddaya say? You in?
You know where to send the checks and the name to write on the payee line.
No need to thank me; your check is thanks enough.
2 Responses to “Investment Opportunity”
By Dave Budge on Jan 11, 2008 | Reply
I think you’re on to something big. I think I’ll set up an exchange for this so we can get others to join in. The “clearing fee” will be about 5% but I reserve the right to trade on my own account so I can speculate on upward pricing as the anti-smoking fascists drive up demand for offsets.
By david on Jan 15, 2008 | Reply
As a smoker, I would gladly pay a few bucks “surcharge” to be able to smoke in certain restaurants.