We All Go Bowling At The Bowling Lanes, Drink a Few Beers, Bowl a Few Frames
November 5th, 2005 | by Craig |A meme floating around is cribbed from this story about the “Average American.”
- Eats peanut butter at least once a week. Especially with that Fresh Honey
- Prefers smooth peanut butter over chunky. Yup, but I do like crunchy, too.
- Can name all Three Stooges. Ahem. Shemp anyone?
- Lives within a 20-minute drive of a Wal-Mart. I’m within a 20-minute drive of two of them. (Depending on the time of day.)
- Eats at McDonald’s at least once a year. At least.
- Takes a shower for approximately 10.4 minutes a day. That’s pretty close. I really try to maximize my sleep time, so the shower time is shortened.
- Never sings in the shower. I would, but everyone is usually asleep when I shower.
- Lives in a house, not an apartment or condominium. True enough.
- Has a home valued between $100,000 and $300,000. At least until the housing bubble bursts.
- Has fired a gun. And will do so again.
- Is between 5 feet and 6 feet tall. Somewhere in there.
Weighs 135 to 205 pounds.Close, though. Really.- Is between the ages of 18 and 53. Almost exactly.
- Believes gambling is an acceptable entertainment option. It’s your money. Do with it what you will.
Grew up within 50 miles of current home.Only missed by 150 miles.
I guess I’m just about average. In other news, 50% of Americans are below average. Something to think about.
(As usual, bonus points for finding the obscure reference. No Googling!)
15 Responses to “We All Go Bowling At The Bowling Lanes, Drink a Few Beers, Bowl a Few Frames”
By JP on Nov 5, 2005 | Reply
Nice to know we’re both Ordinary, Average guys. Heh. (no googling!)
By Craig on Nov 5, 2005 | Reply
Why did I know that you would get that one?
By Todd on Nov 5, 2005 | Reply
Craig, there were but three Three Stooges.
By dogette on Nov 5, 2005 | Reply
Joe! One of my all-time favorites when it comes to lyrics/guitar parts. Love his humor.
Heh. If you like that one, you might like Denis Leary’s A-hole Song. Or maybe not.
By dogette on Nov 5, 2005 | Reply
Ohfercryinoutloud get in there and fix that grammatical TYPO for me in the blockquote, will ya? It’ll drive me nuts.
By Randy on Nov 5, 2005 | Reply
My friends are all boring and so am I.
By Craig on Nov 5, 2005 | Reply
Todd–
Larry, Moe, Curly, Shemp. 4 Stooges. Never more than three at a time, but 4 Stooges nonetheless.
Dogette–
Love Denis Leary. In fact, at one point, I think I could recite “No Cure For Cancer” in it’s entirety. “I drive really slow in the ultra-fast lane, while people behind me are going insane.”
Also, mail on the way re: tpyo’s.
By Randy on Nov 5, 2005 | Reply
I thought there were six Stooges?
Moe, Larry, Schemp, Curly, Joe Besser and Curly Joe DeRita.
By Chad on Nov 6, 2005 | Reply
Craig,
there were five stooges, not four.
Moe Howard,
Curly Howard,
Shemp Howard,
Larry Fine, and
Joe DiRita (who was called Curly-Joe).
By Chad on Nov 6, 2005 | Reply
Oh, and I’ve never heard of Joe Besser, but he might have been one for all I know.
By Craig on Nov 6, 2005 | Reply
Looks like Randy gets this one:
Six stooges.
By Craig's Spousal Unit on Nov 6, 2005 | Reply
And here I thought Randy was making a funny!;)
By Margi on Nov 7, 2005 | Reply
Pick up the dog doo - hope that it’s hard.
Gawd, I love Joe Walsh.
By Amber on Nov 7, 2005 | Reply
Okay, since I’m far too late on the comment thread to pick up points for obscure reference getting, I am going to go try not to sing in my shower while eating a smooth peanut butter sandwich to push me from 134 lbs to the 135 I’ll need to be average. Stupid conformity.
No, no, I just can’t do it! I will eat crunchy and SING dammit!!
“Folks, I’d like to sing a song about the American Dream…”
By BIRDZILLA on Nov 11, 2005 | Reply
And then there was JOE BESSER and have you ever seen the one where their plumers? and when the have over a dozen cops after them including three on motor cycles comming out of a magicians magic box